There is never enough time. This is a continual grumble of mine. In an ideal world I would have time to do everything I want to in each passing day. They say if you want something done then you must ask a busy woman, but even busy women run out of time eventually.
It is so easy to become distracted as you sit at your desk; the phone rings or someone pops in for coffee. The dishwasher suddenly needs emptying just as you reach that difficult piece of work. Face the screen, determined to finish that awkward section of production that you need to really concentrate on, firstly you need a clear focused mind so make a cup of coffee; only the third this morning as your favourite tune heralds the morning quiz on the radio. While here just peel some potatoes in readiness for the meal tonight.
Suddenly it is lunchtime and you have to go for a lunch meeting. Despite it being work you realise it will be nice to speak to someone having been working alone; well having been alone all morning. You hang on to the meeting, dragging it on longer than necessary for the company or to put off the moment of finishing that section of work.
The children arrive home almost as you step in the door, time to concentrate on them. Listen to their days trials and tribulations, find them a snack to keep them going, get the meal on, help with homework I am sure we didn’t learn it like this when I was at school. Hubby arrives home expecting his meal which you all sit round and discuss your various days. Having cleared the plates and seen them all disappear to watch the TV you realise there is still that item of work that you have managed to avoid all day waiting for you. Again you will miss all the soaps and the 9pm drama because this just has to be finished and there is no-one now in the office to ask.
Thankfully I am very much more disciplined than this. I have my office as a physical room which I go into and fall right into work focus. Unfortunately for my family the dishwasher awaits their return and the meal is a rushed affair after we are all home. I do go into the office regularly where I probably have more distractions catching up with the others. At home though I do have the ability to filter out the white noise, the call of the x-box even day time telly holds no allure for me as I concentrate on work.
So if I am this disciplined why can I not find time to write, that is what I claim to want to do? It is where my passion lies, where I want to be so why?
Maybe that is the problem, I feel guilty taking the time out to pursue my passion when there is so much to do. I often blame writer’s block; that blankness when faced with a clear piece of paper or screen, but when I am out and about I see stories, scenes and scoops around every corner. I invent back stories, and make up questions and answers to every person I walk past. I can even put it to paper (screen) and create a workable draft to a short story or longer. What I can’t do is re-visit and find the time around the working week and the family to edit.
I have a catalogue of stories all finished in my mind ready to be sent off but they need careful editing and sending. So is it just editing or is it the fear of rejection. If I finish this, I must send it and then it may not make the grade. What if they don’t like it? What if someone critiques my work unfavourably?
Writing is a part of you, your creation, your conception, your invention so when someone disagrees how do you distance yourself from the criticism? How do you extract the positivity, instead of tossing yet another virtually ready draft onto the every growing trash can of could have beens? How can you build on what you started and use those comments to develop and finalise my work?
I am still editing memories, I still haven’t sent off my story to People’s Friend, I have two or three stories I was going to look at to send to competitions but they are still filed neatly on the computer.
This week is yet another busy week at work, at home and I will be spending some time writing but can I convert some time developing and maybe looking at sending or even at least post a blog…….